The Propagandist |
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12.23.2002
donde va? i'm heading to mexico. at 6:30 am on christmas day. i'll be back around the 6th, so for the 4 people that accidently got directed to the electronic screed that is the propagandist, i'll be back soon with more mildly irritating gibberish. until then, the conversation with my mother as i told her i would be gone on christmas (again): propagandist: oh, and by the way, i'm flying to the yucatan on christmas. mom: christmas? you're gone on christmas AGAIN?! propagandist: mom, we're jewish. shouldn't we be eating chinese food and going to the movies anyway? mom: that's not the point. and when did you become suddenly jewish? propagandist: i don't know. maybe when i got circumcised. come on. the fares are cheaper on christmas! mom: is the in-flight meal kosher at least? propagandist: just low fat. but i'll wear my yarmulke when i eat it. okay, so we really didn't have that conversation. and her guilt is far too sophisticated to express with mere words anyway. type soon... kongestion koan if someone cuts you off on the freeway, but fails to see you flip them off because they are talking on their mobile phone, is there truly righteous indignation? 12.21.2002
i first read his poetry and then heard his music back in the early eighties. i was listening to it last night, and this seemed appropriate considering the growing influence of the police state and bush propaganda machine...like i said before, i'm a progressive with precise aim. Linton Kwesi Johnson Fite Dem Back we gonna smash their brains in cause they ain´t got nofink in ´em we gonna smash their brains in cause they ain´t got nofink in ´em some a dem say dem a niggah haytah an´ some a dem say dem a black beatah some a dem say dem a black stabbah an´ some a dem say dem a paki bashah fashist an di attack noh baddah worry ´bout dat fashist an di attack wi wi´ fite dem back fashist an di attack den wi countah-attack fashist an di attack den wi drive dem back we gonna smash their brains in cause they ain´t got nofink in ´em we gonna smash their brains in cause they ain´t got nofink in ´em 12.20.2002
the irony is striking. the upper lake pomo band of indians want to build a casino. what makes this different than other native american gaming is they want to build it in west sacramento, within sight of the state capitol. and, learning from the snazzy example of modern los vegas, they want to build it with a recognizable theme. the state capitol. that's right. they are going to build a casino that is a scale model of the california state capitol. they didn't mention it in the article, but my sources tell me: 1. the slot machines will be in the form of famous political figures from california's past, like convicted felon senator frank hill. you have to feed a check into the slot, shake hands with it, then give your employer and occupation. if all the votes line up, you get a legislative loophole. 2. the in-casino restaurant is frank fats. (where the historic "napkin deal" was struck) 3. the dealers are all dressed like committee chairmen. the more you "contribute", the better cards you get. of course, tho, your contribution has nothing to do with the cards you get. unless of course you don't contribute anything. but of course your contribution has nothing to do with the cards you get. it just gets you the cards. but you should contribute something, otherwise you get really bad cards. 4. all the gambling tables have that awful pleated fabric with the plastic clips, just like the hearing rooms. 5. the cocktail waitresses are dressed as interns or assembly fellows. 6. your "contributions" are not deductible for tax purposes. 7. if you are a lobbyist, you get to stack the deck. 8. you can play "independent expenditure" as long as you don't coordinate with the dealer. 9. assume republicans always cheat, or will stand on their bad hand "out of principle" or at least until they get an appointment at a blackjack table in the Washington DC casino. 10. the surveillance cameras are on, but like capitol television, nobody watches. 12.17.2002
i tell them so often i might as well write them down, #3 in a continuing series. quickly. 'cause i'm leaving in 5 minutes. a long time ago in a very shitty place i was walking precincts for a candidate. this candidate was being recalled - a recall election is held when an elected official does something so odious that his or her constituents are forced to hold a special election to kick 'em out. hiram johnson in california passed an initiative in 1913 creating the recall to break the death grip the rail company southern pacific held on california's politicians. so generally it's a pretty populist tool for people to get rid of corrupt politicians. or, in this case, a republican who doesn't toe the party line. so a couple of ultraconservative millionaires and right-wing party functionaries dump a few mil to punish the straying member, who we'll call candidate torch. regardless of the use or misuse of the process, i'm on the ground. talkin' to voters. and this time i'm a firefighter. this is a strategy of mine. we do so much phoning and walking to people, challenging them on their doorstep or phone, that it gets kind of hard to work up the motivation to put yourself on the line againandagainandagain. so i make up professions, names. teacher and firefighter are best for precinct walking. some of my favorite names for phoning are: jonas savimbi, joe jackson, and the all time favorite, thad stevens. so the firefighter propagandist is walking door to door, and i stumble upon a voter that HATES the candidate, and decide to engage him. the voter is, uh, a little hair-challenged: propagandist: candidate torch has done a good job and voted his conscience. why should we punish him for that? voter: he'll never get my vote, that lousy turncoat. NEVER! torch is nothing but a terrible politician. propagandist: not as terrible as that freakin' wig you're wearing. voter (pulling out baseball bat from next to door): you little punk! i'm gonna bash your head in! and, yet again, i was forced to flee the scene with a hostile, weapon weilding voter behind me. and people wonder why i work alone in the dark. 12.16.2002
12.13.2002
TO: voters FR: the propagandist RE: you get the government you deserve some headlines, in case you missed them: trent lott apoligized for racist remarks. bush proposes plan to dramatically increase logging in national forests and monuments bush proposes privatizing 800000 federal jobs tax cut for super wealthy to be made permanent federal budget in severe deficit despite tax cuts nuclear retaliation threatened against iraq osama bin laden, mullah omar still at large first strike threatened aid to disabled veterans, unemployed drastically cut or eliminated bush loosens clean air laws republicans call for a return to the issues and forgiveness of lott's remarks this isn't what you voted for, but its what we all got. you should have known they were pissing on your leg and telling you it was raining when they called cleland - a disabled and decorated war veteran - unpatriotic; you should have known they were lying when they tried to prevent workers from organizing in the HSA bill. a poison pill they knew democrats wouldn't vote for, but still used to bludgeon them; you should figure it out now that republicans are calling for the media and critics to just forget lott's serial endorsement of segregationist policies "because they are a personal attack," this from the architects of the most effective, longest and most comprehensive campaign of character assasination in US history; you should have know when the supreme court, led by scalia (almost visibly drooling over chief justice) STOPPED counting ballots and crowned bush president, despite widespread reports of violation of the voting rights act (remember, too, that the last time the electoral college trumped the popular vote the lynchpin was a corrupt florida); but you didn't pay attention, and believed that dissent against bush was tantamount to treason or at least bad judgement. now you will pay the price, unfortunately. your environment will be soiled by the exploitative interests. your air will be fouled by "grandfathered" dirty power plants. your paycheck and your jobs will be in jeopardy, unless you make over 250K a year. your personal privacy is at risk. and your children are now likely to die overseas avenging a loss of face. i only hope that next time you know, or see, or try to understand that wrapping yourself in the flag is not the same as standing for it. it is often quite the opposite. selah. because i tell them so often i might as well write them down, #2 or, a four pound dog in a spiked collar is not macho. this one comes secondhand, but from a trusted source. while campaigning in lovely stockton, we were trying to get what we call "marginal voters" out to vote for our candidate. these marginal voters are the folks that only show up to vote occassionally, or not at all, or were recently registered by arm-twister registration drives. and by definition, marginal voters are almost exclusively democrats. lazy bastards. so by definition these folks need a push to the polls, and we were running a Get Out The Vote (GOTV, in the political vernacular) to these folks. in stockton, many of these voters were in some of the more economically challenged precincts and parts of the city, so sometimes our walkers ran into, ahem, questionable characters. add to this the fact that all of the sacramento staff was being forced to walk precincts, and you get two young blonde women walking in a fairly gang-infested and run-down neighborhood to pull out voters. our two ladies were doing pretty well, since they stood out and were fairly friendly. then they came upon the gang meeting on the porch of the run-down house. and the huge gang member with his pit bull. a large tattoed brute, his dog was meant to ultimately threaten. and he obviously intended to make the dog menacing, what with the spiked collar and the chain leash. he was pretty tough. that, is, until the girls saw the dog. it was a four pound pit bull puppy. with a huge spiked collar. and it was sooooo cute. nothing quite as emasculating for a guy with a shaved head as two young blonde women cooing over your pit bull. asking you her name. and letting her lick their face. most men would have welcomed this. but for the tough guy, "she's so cuuuute!" was just too much. we didn't get his vote that day. 12.11.2002
It is not good to settle into a set of opinions. It is a mistake to put forth effort and obtain some understanding and then stop at that. At first putting forth great effort to be sure that you have grasped the bastes, then practicing so that they may come to fruition is something that will never stop for your whole lifetime. Do not rely on following the degree of understanding that you have discovered, but simply think, "This is not enough." One should search throughout his whole life how best to follow the Way. And he should study, setting his mind to work without putting things off. Within this is the Way. -hagakure why its fun to be a boy in l.a.: 11am, 65 degrees, totally clear, all the windows rolled down gunning sea bee to 110mph on the 134 over eagle rock. sometimes its fun being late to a meeting. 12.10.2002
12.09.2002
it was pointed out to me that when you type "propagandist" into google, this site is the first one to come up. is this some sort of website accomplishment? i'm old and out of the loop, people. help me out here. because i tell them so often i might as well write them down, #1 i've lived in many beautiful parts of the state of california while on the long march from hack to becoming a propagandist. west covina. stockton. anaheim. santa ana. you know, all the garden spots. and it has been in these places that i've really been able to meet the voters, talk with them at their doors, and be chased off their property with a startling variety of weapons. the most suprising, if not the most threatening, being a gas-powered leaf blower. i was running a program and walking precincts for a candidate in stockton. it was a controversial election, and while i usually had a good idea of where to go with voters once i started talking to them, this one guy working on his yard was especially hostile. i liked a challenge, so i leaned in. the propagandist: "but sir, even if you don't agree with one thing candidate macho has done, you have to agree that he's done a good job overall. isn't that what you elected him to do?" gentle voter, standing up from gardening and grasping leaf blower: "elected? ELECTED?! I never elected that bastard! get the hell off my lawn!" propagandist: "but si-" WHHHRRRRRRRR!!! and the bastard charged at my like his lawn was the lists and i was an unhorsed rival. to my lasting shame, i turned and ran as a lunatic chased me down the block with a roaring leafblower. i marked him down as an "undecided." so when los angeles banned leafblowers because of their pollution and noise, i supported it. but for entirely different reasons. 12.05.2002
i bought a house a few months ago, but because of the elections i really haven't spent much time there - and now with city and school board elections bearing down on me like big brother in duel, i decided to try and clear out the "box room," or the one room in the house where the door is always closed. as i started cleaning out one of the boxes i saw an envelope, pulled it out and opened it. it was a birthday card from about 4 years ago, when i was still living with and taking care of my grandfather. in it, it said something like "i love you. don't forget i always love you." my grandfather was only functionally literate. he had a 4th grade education. i can only imagine what it took for him to sit and, half blind from glaucoma, write those words to me. and how those few words, several years past the moment when he wrote them, awoke in me a love and sadness so fundamental that it rooted me to the floor for i don't know how long. i really don't know. i sat there not crying, but with tears streaming down my face. i have no idea how much time passed in reality. but in my mind it seemed like my whole life rolled out, with papa at every turn in the road. i saw him with his hair still black, i saw him in his van, i could smell the cleaning solutions from his janitoral service, watched him watering his garden, saw him in his tux and fedora at my sister's wedding. and i saw him dead with his eyes staring at the ceiling, his body, so recently convulsing in the death rattle, oddly relaxed in the bed. funny that the image of him finally at rest brought me back. and that it didn't make me cry. i miss you papa - but i'm glad you aren't suffering anymore. 12.04.2002
Los Angeles Mayor and Police Chief Acknowledge Designation As Murder Capital of the United States For Immediate Release Contact: the propagandist today mayor jim hahn and police chief william "unreasonable force" bratton will hold a press conference inaugerating the new rampart drive-by shooting range and highlighting L.A.'s recent designation as the murder capital of the united states. "today the city of los angeles adds to its growing list of achievements this laurel of accomplishment," said the mayor as he watched several rampart division officers demonstrate their favorite choke holds on local explorer scouts. "we're a metropolis of many faces - granted many surgically altered faces, but faces nonetheless - entertainment, recreation, porn. today we add to that glowing list murder. and i'm not just talking about snuff films." he added. speaking from the steps of rampart station, home to the notorious lapd CRASH unit, chief bratton added "just because we're the new frontrunner doesn't mean we can slow down. i fully intend to push forward with my reforms so l.a. doesn't suffer the same embarassment new york must be feeling. i won't let another abner louima happen here - i have full confidence the lapd can finish the job." the rising tide of gang violence in los angeles has escalated into a crescendo of shootings, beatings and general mayhem. bratton expained the situation: "we're taking a page from the federal government's playbook and will use this opportunity to obfuscate our campaign to harass and intimidate every african american and latino male that appears to be involved in a gang. like new york, we'll be on the lookout for violent offenders brandishing wallets and driving expensive cars." mayor hahn paused while loading the inaugeral 9mm tec-9 to comment: "we won't let this go to our heads. we're still going to follow our winning strategy of letting violence in poor minority neighborhoods rage unchecked to boost our numbers, as long as they're just killing each other. don't worry - chief bratton is an expert in this kind of thing," he said as he fired short bursts of gunfire from his slowly rolling ford expedition. bratton later announced that tha row (formerly death row) president suge knight will be retained as a consultant to the newly formed department of homicide promotion and containment, citing his long service to the city of los angeles in keeping police supplied with practical black male stereotypes. #30# 12.03.2002
12.01.2002
whatever asshole at warner records that decided not to reissue "the cry of love" by jimi hendrix on cd should be flogged, or at least have both big toes cut off so we can laugh as he/she lurches around the warner offices. |